by Extra
I must have crept close to the crate. Damn, one of those forks could jab me right through its wrapper! Lucky I'm not a startler or One-Eyed Jack would become Blind Fool Jack.
It's taking forever to get the feeling back in my knees. God, I hate it when it gives me the Vanderlust, I'm gonna end up having to tie myself to the bed just to float the Van Allen when I want. Coming out of it like this is too much of a pain in the ass.
I bet that crate isn't really full of plastic forks, I bet Breezy's got a tremendous stash laying right in the center of it. Just takes a few good boots on the top to - well, shit it is just plastic forks. Nothing else even in the wrappers. What the hell is he going to do with them? Who ever heard of black market forks? Maybe they contain meta-shroom so you get a zap with every bite. Right, I'm really getting manson here, I'm gonna smack him if he doesn't get back here with the scooter soon. I'm not walking around here one-eyed and with an ear infection. Someone tries to blindside me, what'll I do, smell them coming?
"That was incredible, I thought this was a dead end project but, will they always do it that way?"
"It's not specifically encoded but the forks will often be the handiest object and we made sure they are strong enough."
"I can't believe how fast it was, he just touched those forks and a few minutes later, wham!"
"The process is much faster when oral contact is involved."
"No kidding? What was he hearing, anyway?"
"Well, of course we can't know exactly what they hear but we do know it's from the subject's persona fears. From our test cases, it seems the "voice" takes on a critical and sarcastic role but we don't know if that's an inherrent part of the manifestation or specific to the test cases we've had."
"Uh, yeah. Whatever. As long as it gets the job done right? That grate-muck in there had a great idea. Meta-shroom, we'll have every filthy addict in the country skewering his own brain and it'll look drug-induced because it is drug-induced, right Doc?"
"Indubitably."
"Right, well you get that final report on my desk by Friday. Doc, if this works we are set but one screw up and, well you better make sure you think about it more than me. Goodbye, remember, Friday."
"Of course, Friday. . . Fool, if he thinks I'm going to let him ride on my work, he's no brighter than those so-called Van Allen Belt addicts. It would be interesting to keep a few around to study the drugs properties, identify the mechanism which causes the hallucination of orbiting, but I can't expect so much from myself can I?
Oh god, I really am mansoning out, I gotta find Breezy. Where's that parka? right by the snowman genius Christ's cock, what do I have to do to get rid of this? take two aspirin and call for me in the morning This is great, I have Dial-a-Joke in my head. Wait, these are his boots, he took my brand new boots! Great, he'll come back with lizard shit all over them and I'll have to clean them because he always fucks up the shining job. If someone's behind this I'll see their asses flambéd, you hear me? every juvenile syllable fuck you! Damn wise-ass voice right in my head. Can they make 'em that small? plenty of room with your nanobrain Ahh! I felt a buzz that time! I got you motherfucker! I'll dig you out! Where's- this'll do-AAAGH! Yeah! Yaeeah! YES! Ag-g-g-uhhn.